


Anatomy of a Kiss

by Oshun



Category: The Charioteer - Mary Renault
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-15
Updated: 2012-07-15
Packaged: 2017-11-09 23:53:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/459910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oshun/pseuds/Oshun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laurie returns to university; at the end of the Michaelmas term, Ralph drives down from Bridstow to bring him home with him. On the trip back, they reminisce about their first kiss in the Ralph's study at school</p><p>Beta-read by the much missed Lorie945. The first draft was read by Kenaz, and the story was Brit-picked by Athousandwinds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anatomy of a Kiss

> "Laurie had reached a pitch of tension where no inhibitions touched him. The frame of convention, with its threats and its supports alike, was broken." _The Charioteer_ , Chapter 2 

* * * *

The day after the end of Michaelmas term Ralph had driven from Bridstow to Oxford to fetch Laurie home. He rather had expected an argument, so he saved the suggestion until just before he rang off, and received instead a heartfelt, "Thank you, Ralph. I’d like that very much. What time were you thinking of coming?" 

The drive back from Oxford had been easy and uneventful. Slowing at an intersection on the outskirts of Bridstow, Ralph glanced at Laurie, only to find Laurie’s gaze fixed upon him. Laurie’s dazzling smile erased all of the earlier signs of fatigue that Ralph had noticed when he had picked up him at his college. There was a barely suppressed excitement in Laurie’s demeanour that Ralph had learned from experience boded well for him later. 

It had been almost a month since Ralph had been able to drive to Oxford and Laurie had been too busy with end-of-term matters to make a trip in the other direction. Now Laurie would not have to return to Oxford for another six weeks and Ralph had been granted a 30-day leave, his first of more than 48-hours in nearly a year. 

"Almost home, Spud." Ralph could not control the foolish smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. Then the sight of the incandescent joy written on Laurie’s face, forced Ralph to release a contented sigh. 

Laurie caught the sigh and sighed back as though in acquiescent response before saying, "Home. I do like the sound of that. I’ve missed you. I thought about you constantly, even more at the end." Ralph glanced at him in time to see Laurie pull his eyebrows together, turning his relaxed smile pensive. "Do you ever think of the first time you kissed me?" 

"Which first time?" Ralph teased. 

"In the prefect’s study, of course." _Classic Spuddy_ , Ralph thought, _direct and single-minded_. 

"Of course?" Ralph laughed. "Yes. I do think of that day. Have thought of it more often than I would like to admit." 

"Don’t be competitive. It completely ruins that aura of yours." 

"Watch the cheek, Odell," he said, attempting, he believed with some success, to match the voice, self-consciously somber and authoritative, that he had once cultivated as an earnest Head Boy. He looked quickly at Laurie, catching sight of another heart-stopping grin. Ralph heard his own voice soften into besotted affection. "It is obvious you are leading somewhere with this. What exactly is it that you want to know?" 

"I know it might sound silly, but I have been thinking about it these past few weeks and I had a burst of understanding, belated self-knowledge one might say. But, before I tell you, I want to hear how you remember it." Ralph didn’t say that Laurie never said anything that sounded silly, sometimes wrong or bull-headed, but never silly. 

"How do I remember it? Well, first, I said ‘Come here.’ And you walked straight up to me, with the appearance of a great deal more confidence and intent than I was feeling at that moment, and you did not stop until we were standing all but nose-to-nose. I had wanted to touch you -- I believe I thought to shake your hand, or give you a thump on the shoulder. I had given you the book. That was as far as I had intended to go and, I felt, already farther than I ought to have taken it." He remembered the young Odell’s closeness, the sudden heat of his body, his slightly parted lips, and the barely perceptible, shakily defiant half-smile. Irresistible. 

"Then I did remember it correctly. I wasn’t aware that I wanted to be kissed. But, thinking about it now, it seems obvious to me that I all but dared you to do it. I could not simply stand back and allow you to order me out of that room with nothing more than a book, a handshake and a brusque good-bye. I discovered later that it was more than just any book, but I didn’t realise that then." 

"Hmm. I suppose I can imagine that. A bit like the night of your mother’s wedding? The challenge part I mean." The quality of the smiles Ralph was getting every time he chanced a look at Laurie, were making him a bit breathless and more than a little warm, part of the bonuses or frustrations that came with loving Laurie Odell, depending upon how one chose to view them. "I was less dim by then and could read you more easily at least. And, as you were quite aware, I was far from unwilling to provide for the initiation of the grown L.P. Odell." 

"Obviously, I was far less conscious of what I was doing that afternoon in your study. But, yes. There were similarities." 

Ralph maneuvered deftly between a moving lorry and a delivery boy on a bicycle and pulled into an empty space directly in front of the building. The afternoon sun caught the copper highlights in Laurie’s hair and brightened the hazel eyes that shone with wanton seductiveness. 

"I absolutely want to delve deeper into the mind of a not-so-innocent Odell, seducer of schoolboys, but first let’s get you inside before your leg stiffens up from the cold. I’ll get the bags. Do you have your keys?" Laurie refrained from commenting that his mind wasn't what was preoccupying Ralph.

* * * *

The flat was located on the ground floor. Laurie remembered how touched he had been at the ill-concealed self-congratulatory air with which Ralph had announced that detail when he had brought him to look at it for the first time. Within a few minutes they found themselves safely locked away inside. The rooms were cold, permeated by the faintest lingering scent of cigarette smoke.

"I should have left the window open a crack," Ralph said, dropping the bags inside of the door before moving to light the heater. Laurie intercepted him, pinning him against the wall with a fierce, wide-open-mouth kiss. 

"Spuddy! If you had kissed me like that in the prefect’s study, I'd have buggered you senseless, principles be damned." Ralph turned the aggressor now, but able to use his mouth only; Laurie held both of Ralph’s hands and his weight still pressed against him. 

"You could do that now," Laurie whispered, releasing him to fumble with the buttons on Ralph’s trousers. 

"I promise you I will." Ralph groaned as Laurie, successful at last at finding what he sought, stroked and pulled at him. 

"Stop. Oh, God! Please stop," Ralph gasped. Laurie blocked his pleas with another hard kiss. When Ralph finally managed to interrupt the kiss, his checks were flushed, his pupils dilated, his fine, fair hair fell down onto his forehead. Ralph looked barely older than he had been when he was Laurie's idolized Lanyon, Head of School, who had given him his first kiss. "Oh, Spuddy, I’ve missed you too." Ralph’s voice was hoarse and his breathing heavy, as though he had run a long distance. He pushed Laurie gently away from him and Laurie, breathless and enthralled, did not resist. "Go to bed, Spud. I’ll be only a minute or two. Just want to light the heater and fix the blackout." Laurie smiled at the thought that it would not be dark for at least another two hours. 

After turning on the small lamp at the side of the bed, Laurie undressed and, shivering, slid under the sheet and counterpane. When Ralph entered the room Laurie could see him well, the shadows enhancing rather than detracting from his view of Ralph: his form lean, broad-shouldered and long-legged, with his light hair and eyes a striking contrast to his tanned face. At one time, not so many months before, Laurie had been impatient with himself over how much Ralph’s beauty moved him, but he had since overcome that scruple and accepted it as yet another element of his good luck. 

Ralph locked eyes with Laurie while undressing purposefully but not hurriedly. Ralph's allowing his clothes to drop to the floor, rather than folding them carefully as was his habit, or at least hanging them over a chair, seemed the most blatantly erotic display Laurie had yet observed from him. Laurie swore worshipfully and remembered to take a breath, eliciting a languid smile in response. Ralph spoke but Laurie could not hear what he said over the sound of his own heart beating. 

"What did you say?" 

"I asked how's your knee, Spuddy?" 

"Not thinking about my knee. Get over here. Now." 

Much later, when he could finally speak, Laurie said, "That was far superior to my most lurid fantasies of you bending me over the desk in the prefect’s office." Ralph laughed, unrestrainedly this time. 

"You really do frighten me sometimes, Spuddy." 

"Can you deny that you’ve imagined the same?” Laurie ruffled Ralph’s silky flaxen-colored hair, a gesture that provoked a reflexive squint on Ralph’s part, which immediately softened into a smile of affectionate forbearance. “Ah, Ralph,” Laurie said, grinning and kissing him on the temple. “The reference rolled off your tongue easily enough in the parlour a while ago." 

Ralph’s pale blue eyes met Laurie’s, crinkling with a familiar look of amused admiration that he reserved only for him. "I won't deny it, if you will admit that it would never have done." 

"I freely admit that. I trust you as the keeper of my heart, the defender of my integrity, and now my always perfect love." 

Ralph chuckled lightly but there was no longer any humour in his eyes, only wistful adoration. "I’m in no condition at the moment to comment on your choice of words. I can’t say if you are a good poet or a terrible one, but I'll always love you either way." 

"And I’ll never let you go again."


End file.
